Frustrated...

Frustration is a big part of life... without it, life won't be as exciting as it should be. But frustration fortunately is a resource I've had an abundance of all my life and it isn't my monopoly and therefore its value is less than that of oil.

More than a week ago, I told myself, after being caught in a lot of stupid and unnecessary stresses, that I will be happier as a human being by simply being content and just give up on ambitions and goals that seem to be the root cause of my frustrations. And I did! And I was... happy for a while.

Happy that I wouldn't have to be frustrated anymore in my career, with my relationship, and with my life in general. That state of happiness lasted a few days until I realized that like most things, we are designed to serve a specific need or purpose and therefore not necessarily flexible or adaptable to all conditions.

I guess maybe I'm designed for something else and my current desire to be happier and therefore quitting the game of life has led to my system of wires going pasta on me and I've finally felt the after affects of complacency.

WebMD says that; Stress, both physical and mental, can send your blood sugar out of whack.

But seemingly, my decision to quit the game has given my body more stress simply because I failed to follow my design. I'm simply not built to be sedentary... emotionally, physically and mentally.

So over that period where I wanted to be happy by being sedentary, I simply couldn't. My blood glucose levels went berserk a few days and I had no way of knowing because my glucometer got lost so I had to purchase a new one. And it was swinging like crazy, 161 to 136, 214 to 136 and 250 to 134.

Bottom line? I won't be getting any extra attention from this... as usual, I will be alone dealing with this.

I need to do something new, I swear... or else my already hay-wired system will overload. I need to keep to my design and settle within myself that complacency will get me killed... and I need to stop writing useless rants like this.