Friday, December 24, 2010
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
In the past years, I have grown disillusioned due to the fact that I have already given up on so many aspirations in relation to my dying career in this company. Lately, it has already consumed a better part of me.
Melancholy has taken the part of me that was in the first place supposedly my drive-provider when it comes to making career decisions. In my forties, I have learned well that not everything in life is for the taking and therefore seemingly “available” things are not really for free.
This state has however reduced me to a lump of potato sack with the lesser amount of willingness to go on. But allow me to clarify that earlier statement… when I say statements pertinent to being under-driven, it doesn’t at all mean that I become inutile to the point of uselessness. It usually means that my mental state turns apathetic in relation to my career objectives and my personal sake. I do however remain more productive than the average Joe.
Several weeks ago, I placed my proposals on top of the Chairman’s table for his perusal. Several weeks ago, he arrives from a foreign trip and told me that he was already thinking about the businesses I proposed. Today, I am still waiting and I won’t know how long the wait would last.
In the meantime, I busy myself with another proposal for a new business entirely out of my character. And that is to simply comply with proposing a business that is both “normal” and profitable… manageable? Well, we’ll have to see.
In the meantime as well, I fear that I have wasted my time, financial resources and effort in making those proposals knowing that getting a proposal through would not only be tough but improbable given that our polarities really rarely meets in the first place.
Unfortunately, making a proposal is not merely an academic exercise, not for me anyway. The risk of putting up your emotion at the front line of a possible disappointment is something that I am part of that high-risk demographic. The virtue that made me successful over these years is the same virtue that has ruined me in my earlier years, and basic life know-how says… life is a wheel and that I am destined to be put down once again.
For the life of me, I do not know what has to be done. Or more so, the extent of what I am willing to do. For those who think that they know things, they are probably more ignorant than I am…
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Some people I know frown upon the idea of gun ownership. And I suppose that they’d frown even more that I am teaching my daughter about guns. That’s roughly about 20% of the people I know.
My simple anecdote for gun ownership is simple. It’s like having a fire extinguisher in the house, hoping that you’d never have to use it. If it would be simple, then I’d advocate for having fire extinguisher practice ranges. That’s because the only difference is that gun ownership requires a tremendous amount of responsibility and having a gun in the house isn’t as easy as one might think.
Guns are items of curiosity for most everyone, and as the saying goes, curiosity killed the cat. That’s why when time permits I bring my family to the range for some familiarization time with guns. I believe that the most dangerous gun owners are those who never go to the range… they hear some pitter patter on the roof and they think that it’s a robber who needs to be shot. Why is that? Because they’re suppressed beings who decided to buy a weapon and never took the time to actually “play” with it in a safe environment. – That’s right it’s play because it’s fun. So the next time you fire your weapon, point it on the target board with a smile.
When Mica was young, her mother insisted that she take up lessons at an early age. By lessons I meant a lot of lessons, swimming, ballet, tae kwon do and piano. I remembered a time when I was afraid to swim with her because she thought that I could swim as well as she could. And that meant I could not be as graceful as her in the water.
Then came along the ballet lessons where she was so pretty on the stage of her recitals but it was unfortunate that it was something I couldn't exactly relate to. I loved it when she was taking tae kwon do lessons despite the fact that I am only an absolute master in the art of “sayonachi” (sa’yo na tsinelas ko or roughly translated, you can have my slippers).
At age eight, I brought her to the firing range to experience firing a weapon hoping that she’d take to it. Unfortunately, my busy work life wasn’t permissive enough to make that happen. Since then, she’d taken to guitars, the piano and singing and I absolutely loved the fact that I started her on the music path although I know that it won’t be a prospected career. We also tried golf, but we’re just too poor to actually afford it.
Point is… parenting for Mica has been a wonderful experience. She is in no way perfect, but we share so much in common and she thrives on the learning experiences that she is my perfect daughter. And it has been a wonderful journey of bonding for us.
photography by Jerry Santos
Shooting? Damn, it's something that I've missed and not done for quite some time. So as an old skill, it's something that I'd like to refresh in me.
With our experience at the Quirino Grandstand tragedy, tourism businesses like us must at least have remedial measures that will ensure the safety of our guests when the need arises. So a continual security forces training is being planned to comply with proper security standard both with personnel and resources.
day 01, just getting the feel once again of my trusty .45 ACP... a simple routine exercise for re-familiarization both with the weapon and the environment of a range. The long gun ban this year and my doomed passion for golf has made me lose some of the muscle memory associated with pistol firing... ten minutes later, it was back, or so I thought.
day 02, with two of our top security officers, we tested the armscor m30 shotgun issued for our security guards for reliability. Okay, it was also fun but it was rather difficult to hit something you're not aiming at. It took quite a while to get used to it since i was used to firing shotguns with butt stocks. Important was you got the feel for it and hope that the memory of the experience is retained for the next day's exercise.
day 03, okay, I think I'm back.
Monday, December 6, 2010
video by Joey dela Vega
photography by Jerry Santos
edited by Casie Villarosa
Guess I've been bitten by the blues bug... I really hate my life these days. Except maybe for a few exceptional things, I've been generally under the weather lately and I don't have anything that will bounce me back.
I'm angry, I'm frustrated and I'm tired. And it's the same thing everyday...
Thursday, November 4, 2010
More than ten years ago, I had a boss who confronted me with this question… “Do you think you can do the things that you do (video production) without me?” Dumbfounded, I said that I could not if he doesn’t allow me to do so, but that I can if I wanted to.
In hindsight, I now know what he was at. He simply wanted to tell to me, as well as reassure his insecure self that he is the powerful one. People like such are usually the ones who have nothing to offer this beautiful planet but their unsolicited arrogance. They are usually without skill, without passion and without soul. Much like self-proclaimed “artists”, “managers”, etc. whose skill level is non-reflective of what they profess.
I only have a handful of people I personally know who is afflicted by this disease. Mostly from my past life who has catapulted me to become what I am. And I also have a few up and coming ones whom I know will allow me the opportunity to better myself in the near future.
Sad to say, one remains competitive only with competition. Without competition, why compete?
In my world, I believe that in–house competition is good to a certain extent. However, sometimes, it becomes an exercise in futility, a waste of precious energy and mostly a routine without effort. I mean for G’s sake, if I needed to compete then at least give me competition with the same skill level or higher. That is to make my effort worthwhile and the forthcoming victory celebration worthy of the tag.
Unfortunately, the competition becomes one-sided simply because the other thing most of these people have aside from their insecurities and arrogance is their money. Now you simply will find it hard to fight with that.Now in the ideal world, if the playing fields were even, then we’d only be looking at core competencies… or the lack of it…
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
mica at the memorial park
mica blackening the letters of lolo and lola's names
my family's relatives where i spent most of my all souls' days during my childhood together with my cousins
my uncles and aunts
it was a cold rainy night
which made miro hungry
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
video by joey dela vega
photography by Jerry Santos