2011 is the year this company celebrated our 10th year in the business of entertainment. 2011 is the year that I, as the longest remaining employee of this company would have celebrated my 10th year here. Except that there is nothing to celebrate, except for the fact that this is the longest job I’ve ever held.
On September 1, 2001, I signed on to become Musical Director of this show and it is a decision that is yet to be judged by history as a failure in decision-making or am I simply suffering a lag in my career? At the moment, I would assess that it is both.
In 2001, I was forewarned about working with Koreans -- that in general they are racist and will not trust one who is not their own. That once I have served my purpose, then I will be sent on my way… to another direction that is.
I learned this the hard way. The management style and treatment is erratic and at most is based on a whim. An organizational structure culled from “ancient” chaebol models and practices -- A practice and methodology that encourages in-fighting among managers and making a spectacle of fights between the gladiatorial combatants, or simply stated the old “divide and conquer” paradigm of the ancient world. So one day you find yourself favored by the Gods and the next day you are nothing...
More than half o f my career was spent on useless and unnecessary duels and combats so as to please my Emperor and prove my skill and loyalty to the crown. In the end I am the last man standing… but I am no winner. I have lost more than what I have gained. In the end, my strength has become my weakness because I am already considered a “threat”. Why such is the case? I simply infer that it is their nature not to trust. Paranoia, big destroyer as the Kinks song goes.
But then again, my loyalty is indeed questionable for them. For I have always said that my loyalty is in the organization and not on patronage as what is expected of me. This is simply because my position needs a delicate balancing act to please as much of the stakeholders to ensure that the organizational machinery is well oiled and moving. Of course, that is not how Koreans would generally do it.
And despite the fact that I have proven my loyalty time and again it has been questioned. Now that is simply an insult. Just because I do not agree to all of their opinions does not mean a wavering of loyalty, I am simply doing my job and doing what I am paid for. If it will be made clear as it has been this year that my job description meant that I nod my head in agreement all the time then so be it… consider me loyal. So long as mistakes are made, I remain viable because not all things, money can solve.
But then again, I would say that perhaps in their minds I have exceeded my mileage… or perhaps they need a new start with someone else who is unfamiliar with their once humble past…