Tuesday, December 27, 2011

The Decade That Was…

2011 is the year this company celebrated our 10th year in the business of entertainment. 2011 is the year that I, as the longest remaining employee of this company would have celebrated my 10th year here. Except that there is nothing to celebrate, except for the fact that this is the longest job I’ve ever held.

On September 1, 2001, I signed on to become Musical Director of this show and it is a decision that is yet to be judged by history as a failure in decision-making or am I simply suffering a lag in my career? At the moment, I would assess that it is both.

In 2001, I was forewarned about working with Koreans -- that in general they are racist and will not trust one who is not their own. That once I have served my purpose, then I will be sent on my way… to another direction that is.

I learned this the hard way. The management style and treatment is erratic and at most is based on a whim. An organizational structure culled from “ancient” chaebol models and practices -- A practice and methodology that encourages in-fighting among managers and making a spectacle of fights between the gladiatorial combatants, or simply stated the old “divide and conquer” paradigm of the ancient world. So one day you find yourself favored by the Gods and the next day you are nothing...

More than half o f my career was spent on useless and unnecessary duels and combats so as to please my Emperor and prove my skill and loyalty to the crown. In the end I am the last man standing… but I am no winner. I have lost more than what I have gained. In the end, my strength has become my weakness because I am already considered a “threat”. Why such is the case? I simply infer that it is their nature not to trust. Paranoia, big destroyer as the Kinks song goes.

But then again, my loyalty is indeed questionable for them. For I have always said that my loyalty is in the organization and not on patronage as what is expected of me. This is simply because my position needs a delicate balancing act to please as much of the stakeholders to ensure that the organizational machinery is well oiled and moving. Of course, that is not how Koreans would generally do it.

And despite the fact that I have proven my loyalty time and again it has been questioned. Now that is simply an insult. Just because I do not agree to all of their opinions does not mean a wavering of loyalty, I am simply doing my job and doing what I am paid for. If it will be made clear as it has been this year that my job description meant that I nod my head in agreement all the time then so be it… consider me loyal. So long as mistakes are made, I remain viable because not all things, money can solve.

But then again, I would say that perhaps in their minds I have exceeded my mileage… or perhaps they need a new start with someone else who is unfamiliar with their once humble past…

Thursday, December 22, 2011

IKAW NA! Congratulations Mica!

You make living this career nightmare worth it! Congratulations my dear daughter for your 2nd , Jose Rizal Second Honors Certificate. May this not be the last!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Happy Birthday to the Batman!

P/SSupt. Melchor Reyes, fondly called Batman celebrated his 50th Birthday as well as the Blessing of the Pasay Police Headquarters, the Pasay Police Station 65th Anniversary and their Christmas Party.

A Father's Appeal...


Dearest Daddy,

before anything else, please read the whole e-mail first before you give me your reaction. It’s quite lengthy pero pretty pretty pretty please finish it. Thanks! :)

Yes, this is about my appeal to stay in a condo. I have always wanted naman to stay in a condo/apartment/dorm since first term eh pero i know that you will not allow me especially since my sched was very maluwag back then so i didn't dare ask na lang. 2nd term, i wanted to ask you na (my original plan pa nga was to look for an apartment with Inah (HS friend) eh) but since we're pre-enrolled pa rin, the schedule was still okay. So now, my plan was to ask you na lang before fourth term pero when I was enrolling, i noticed that i'm gonna have late classes na third term. I already talked to you about this and you said na you could pick me up na lang if my uwian is late na pero here's the thing, if you pick me up everyday, that basically means that i have to wait for you pa so that we could go home together `cause if i go home first, it's gonna be a total waste of gas. My main reason for wanting to be picked up naman kasi is that it's really scary na if i commute home late. My block mates have experienced lots of bad things na while commuting and there are scares pa in Taft and sa other means of my way home especially sa MRT and LRT. Dhei, i'm a girl. it's super creepy and really scary every time i go home late and alone.

When i first asked you about this condo thing, you told me na we can't afford it pero i did the math na. All expenses every month for the condo will be covered by my monthly allowance naman eh. by the way, we're just gonna rent and not buy a condo.

This afternoon, we checked out our options na and the most practical condo rental that we found is sa The Grand Towers (the big blue building in Vito Cruz)

it's a studio type unit, semi furnished. Unit number &%*&, tower 1 of TGT.

here's the breakdown of my monthly expenses if you will allow me to stay in a condo.

My current monthly allowance is P(*%$%& and mommy and i talked about it na and she might raise it next term because of my schedule.

so the thing is, we are not yet sure if there's gonna be 4 or 5 of us who's gonna share so here's the computation for both:

"she actually made a table"

So in the table, it can be seen that my allowance covers the monthly expenses needed for the rent. As for food naman, I would be very lucky na if you would give me food allowance of 100 a day total of P2,000.00 a month.

If you look at it, this is very okay na compared if I would get a dorm or something which costs 5,500 a month plus the food allowance pa so it costs more and I might never get a chance like this na again.

So as a start, we would need to give a reservation fee of 5,000 (which we, as much as possible, would want to do by Monday) and then before the year ends, we will give na the 2 months down and 1 month advance (4 persons: 11,250 – 1000 = 10,250 // 5 persons: 9000 – 1000 = 8,000) and we’ll be ready to move in by the start of term!

If you will allow me, I promise that I will call you and mommy every single night as soon as I get to the condo and that the thing you told me about partying or making gala and stuff like that ain’t gonna happen. You have my friends (hopefully, soon room mates) as witnesses for that.

Brief background

All 5 of us are girls (obviously)

All of us are dean’s listers (1 1stDL and 4 2ndDL)

Blah! Blah! Blah!------------- long description of friends

So there. They are my possible roomies if you will allow me.

Oh and I will give you the contact number of their parents as soon as you give me permission and ____’s dad wants to have a drink with you sometime daw. Haha!

It’s not that I do not want to be in the same house as you guys, it’s just that I can already feel the college pressure.

I will study and do my best but not just for you guys. I want to be somewhere in life din. I am studying for all of us and my promise to graduate with Latin Honors, I will try my very best and work my ass off just to get that pero if I fail, I am so sorry na in advance.

I love you daddy!

Please consider my appeal J

Super thank you in advance!

Love lots and lots and lots,



Dearest daughter,

I did not consider reading this email at the time simply because I always give in to your argumentative and psychological capacity to manipulate things your way. You will make an awesome lawyer someday, so save the arguments for the judge. I am your father and I love you, that is why I always want to see you and know the things that you're up to.

I appreciate the effort and it reflects upon our shared personality. You deserve the best but some things I've yet to afford and yet you always make me proud to be your dad. I am sorry that such is our state at the moment but the hardships will make you stronger, the trials will give you character and the condo is by no means a vehicle to achieve all those things.

I want you to commute so as not to isolate you from the real world... I want you to remain in touch with social realities so that you will be a better person in the future, so that when you earn what you've worked for, you may better cherish life as compared to some people I know.

You may not have all the materials things that you want, but you still have your soul and credibility as I have mine. I am just so proud that I did not need to pull strings to get you to where you are now. I am just so proud that I care much for your education simply because we are both working and sacrificing hard for it and believe me, I am looking forward to the future fact that your first pay check as a member of the labor force will not come from me.

So finally, after having read your letter, I am convinced that I have raised a good daughter. The condo may be convenient for you, but it will not be convenient for me as your father. Thank you for taking the time out to write me your arguments although I know that at the back of your mind, you know that it is an exercise in futility… I call it respect.

I love you and I know that you understand… now let’s make a music video!


Wednesday, December 7, 2011

You will be missed, Kuya...

My cousin Constancio "Jake" Gregorio passed away this morning at 58 years old.

Kuya as I call him was my number one fan... he simply adored everything I did in life as early when I was in College. My nickname was actually from him and his brother, Diko Francis who re-christened me because there were too many "Juns" in the neighborhood as well as school. They took half my real name and added an "e", hence the name Casie.

Kuya Jake and I used to spend a lot of time together just chatting away about everything under the sun. At times I feel uncomfortable with the fact that my opinion seems to matter too much to him despite the fact that I know that I am not always right. Nevertheless, he held me in very high regard.

He was my smoking buddy, my drinking buddy and my real life chat mate. Early this year, he decided to quit smoking and in my twisted sense of reality, I jokingly said that the sudden stop will kill him. Four months later he was hospitalized... this year he was in and out of the hospital. Up until recently his recovery seemed progressive, until yesterday... he was Kuya to me, Tatay to his children, GP (Grandpa) to his grand children, Jake or Chito to his friends and a good man to many...

Thank you for everything, Kuya... I will miss you and our conversations...

Thursday, December 1, 2011

21 Years...

Happy Anniversary, Me...