in life

In life,.. there are generally some milestones, cornerstones or just jagged-edged sharp stones that one must face, conquer or run away from... I've faced some... conquered some or most of the time were cut into shreds from. that's me. That's generally how i view life.

I was born to a relatively poor family in the outskirts of this metropolis, my father a policeman and my mother a small entrepreneur. I grew up not wealthy but relatively well off considering my neighborhood standard. If you knew where I lived, then you'll understand.

Almost all my life, I thought that I wouldn't amount to anything better than a regular employee whose main preoccupation in life would be "griping", sour graping, or in other words a prophet of angst. Maybe because i started life a little bit disadvantaged from the start compared to the peers in the environment where I was from..

Most of the jobs I held, I hated... simply because I couldn't cope with the "standards" set by the people around me. With standards I meant that "culture" cultivated by the people inside an organization. Be it that "the more titles and diplomas you have, then the more successful you shall become" or "I am the Boss, the master, the Lord King and you are just hired help". So one day, I decided that I shouldn't work anymore... well not for a particular someone anyway and that I would become master of myself. Blah, blah, blah, blah... yes, dream on kid. Of course, anyone here knows that that is virtually impossible unless you have been blessed with RICH parents, but even that is no guarantee... and believe me, I've seen so many of my peers grow up rich and ends up mediocre or worse... struggling to survive.

I am still master of angst... there are so many things I would love to change but I cannot... primarily because it is beyond me, but most probably because I wouldn't want to... When my parents left me for a better place some thirteen years ago... they didn't leave any material things that I can start with... instead I inherited "diabetes" and "sinusitis" of which I need not share to anyone because I was an only child... but they did leave me with some other valuable stuff for which I thank them most dearly... my mother's 2nd cousin, who acted as my "mother" since the time she passed and who has done a wonderful job keeping me in line, an education which I can boast of having survived knowing and feeling that I was almost always out of place because of my economic standing in society, and most importantly the values which has kept me in the right place always... some of them good values, the others... well let's just say that I try to keep the bad ones in check.

At about the time I decided that I wouldn't want to work for anyone anymore, fate came my way through a godchild of mine who said that a group of foreigners wanted to put up a theatre business in the Philippines. I was hesitant at first but then again, I needed the job, even if I literally was in self denial at the time. So two years and three months to my hiring date and after several promotions, I am now where I am. That was three years ago and now I feel like I am stuck again....

And maybe that's why I wanted to start a blog... because I am bored to death of my life since I got so used to working and being rewarded for it that all of a sudden.... (to be continued...)