The chicken or the egg…

It is an issue for everyone who has ever felt that one is a “lesser being”… the comparative notes stuck inside your head that says “I should be better off” or “I don’t have what I deserve” or” it’s unfair” or “things aren’t the way it should be”.


People and their characters are judged… that’s just the way it is, and it will never change. One of my favorite artists, Sting once sang “don’t judge me. you could be here another life, in another set of circumstances”.

I try my best to avoid judgmental perception, but as a human being, it cannot be helped.

I remember having thoughts of my bosses in the past as “mad raving idiots”, which deserved less than what they had, but I guess that Sting was right with the lyrics… because when the tides are turned, then being judged is quite unpleasant. I must admit that my efforts and actions are reflective of what interests me for the moment, or more profoundly what bugs me at the moment.

I have been very eloquent in the past over the direction this company should take… over time, my efforts dissipated with the seeming inability of the company to at least recognize the efforts made to pursue a more relevant direction, i.e. the development of the show and the venue, a better system of management with a merit system that is more considerate of actual performance efficiency etc., etc. and so far we have not done much of it.

Being in management puts one in a very compromising situation. In the case of this company’s history years back, the lack of a systematic management scheme was well compensated with a lot of interpersonal and personal affinities with rank and file which allowed us to become family members of this company. Hence, the results were productive…

I have said to a good number of people that when the time comes that I am given the presidency of this company that it should be on my terms, my vision, and my freehand. Positions are nothing more but glorified labels of a salary man such as I if the power yielded is not real and only virtual. Enough said…

my sonata

i never got around to taking a picture of my sonata... 'til i drove in to the office today and saw my admin director with his camera...

paalam

i finished this album last year but never got around to fixing the album format and stuff... usually, i give copies of new albums to friends for the holidays. I haven't done that for the last two years since my holiday season always seems to be in some sort of "shit" state. December 25, 2007 my driver trashed a brand new motorcycle i gave to my wife as a gift... a year later, December 23, 2008 my driver's brother trashed my brand new car, a gift from my boss' wife.

anyway, this year, i plan to package this new album i finished and give it to friends. most of the songs i wrote. both the lyrics and the music and some were from tinkering with some available files over the net and i ended up compiling everything into an album.

so to my friends... sorry for the delay.

my other office

i must admit that for the past couple of weeks... hiking up and down the manila film center is getting too tiring. The staff in particular found it very difficult that if i wanted something, they'd have to spend nd enormous amount of energy to give it to me. at least that takes care of the 10,000 step requirement for a fit and healthy life... 'till one day, the chairman says that i should move to the admin office... so i said that that i want to keep my office at the 4th floor and make the other office a sattelite so that i wouldn't be that far from the rest of the planet.

so right now i'm here at promenade level looking at the Sofitel Hotel much like the view i had in my office at the 2nd floor. i'm back together with my staff and i must admit that it is more convenient. the thought that i still have my main office and recording studio at the 4th floor keeps me comfortably at ease knowing that i have another place to run to when the stress level and boredom overheats.

driving the sonata

it came at a good price... the budget allocation allowed me for a Sonata 2.4 GL but unfortunately, a black one wasn't available in that category and I was stubborn enough not to settle for another color... so i decided to do the next best thing, and that was to hunt for a black sonata through other dealers. Unfortunately, the Korean managers in-charge of purchasing the car for me were hell bent in getting the unit from a Korean distributor, but I've already talked to another dealer who owns the black unit plus a generous amount of discounts to boot. Well, whatever the motives were, I didn't exactly care. Except for the fact that they wasted an entire two days settling the issue until they finally gave in. I had to advance my 13th month pay to cover for the slightly higher priced, top of the line model V6 3.3 which was the only black unit available anywhere.

so my sonata had it's recent one month anniversary and its first check up and oil change last week. I ran it at SLEX at 160KPH without any hitch. The handling is superb and doing a regular 120KPH feels like a 70KPH cruise. I'm a short guy so i really appreciate the driver seat adjustments. I love the factory sound system, I love the leather seats except that my four year old already baptized it with puke from one of our out of town trips. The interior is much like the camry... my dream car which is way "out there" in terms of budget. The mileage? well... it's a 3.3 liter engine, what would one expect?

Here's the driver's seat review of the sonata...

my new office... again

so, part of the reason why i wasn't able to blog for the longest time was that I've just moved into my new office... again!!!

after I've settled into my former office for the last four and a half years in my stay in this company, well... I've grown attached to it and that was perhaps the problem I've had with the concept of moving out.

so when the chairman and the president was kind of like coercing me to move in together with the other admin people to a new location where I'd stay in a 3X5m jail cell dimensioned room, i refused and decided to temporarily take shelter in the band rehearsal room bringing with me all the stuff I'd accumulated over the last seven years.

most of my stuff stayed in boxes awaiting their new home. so i finally moved into this new office when i was once again told that everything was ready. IT WASN'T! The floor tiles were in terrible shape, the air conditioning was installed but not yet powered, there were no shelves for my stuff, no water (up to this day), and no electric fans for the rehearsal studio... but nevertheless, i liked the location. much better than where they were intending to throw my ass downstairs.

the best thing? it came with a view! Now I am facing the magnificent manila bay, the exact sweet location where one could view the perfect sunset on a clear day. My five panels of window looks like a continuous landscape/seascape painting. on a clear day one can see the outline of the bay with correigidor on the horizon, sangley point to your left and a glimpse of Bataan farther away...

there are six partitions (rooms) the biggest of which is the "live" room of my recording studio, a big pantry, a private bathroom, the control room (engineer's booth) a small office (i haven't figured out what to do with it yet) a walk-in closet room and my main office.

the set back? well, if small things gives you the creeps, then the recent three-day storm allows you to hear weird howling sounds of the wind just outside your window. the eerie feeling that the film center is known for is not new to me. I've stayed in this building for the last seven years and I've grown attached to it. the long sofa in my office (the sofa that has served me for the last six years) is the same sofa where the caretaker of this building allegedly died in his sleep in '96 is still my favorite thinking spot.

i still miss my old office... it's actually the office that the former first lady Imelda Marcos used when she stayed in this building... i like the wood finish and the general ambiance it provided. my new office? well, it's a bit clinical... for lack of a better term. the walls are beige and dull... anyway, when i have incidental cash to spend, I'll have it renovated and interior designed to my specs... but for now... I'd just enjoy the view and listen to the howling of the winds...


the view from my window on a stormy day

my sofa

comfy

my messy desk

my thinking sofa

still the sweetest spot; recording and video editing pc
the live room of the studio

studio control room

Ain't got no time to write anything lately so might as well just post some pics on the blogspot

BORACAY!!!
one of the biggest headaches in this business... it's not financially rewarding, you may call it a glitch in our business track record, but we all love this branch and the show.. it's fate ... well...


my family with the cast of the Amazing Show Boracay


Amazing Show Boracay ribbon-cutting ceremony with (from left) APT President Iron Chang, Air Philippines representative, APT Chair Lee Jong Hyun, Aklan Vice Governor Gabrielle Calizo and myself



explaining APT's history to the guests

the after party picture with the cast and staff

banana boat ride with the press and some guests

fun dive with the bora staff

having some water fun in boracay

The Headache…

A month without blogging simply means that my life just went a little berserk over those days… I couldn’t settle in yet since I moved into the temporary office at the fourth floor, the frustration over the plug pulling of a project I cared about and another move into another office this time facing the sea. I must admit that I got a bit crazy and googoo as well over my new car… damn, she handles like a dream.

Everything around as well were all unwell like in a crazy state of semi-chaotic pandemonium especially over the recent changes in the organization as well as the seeming lack of communication between everyone in this company.

Damn, I miss the olden days when life in this company was “chaotic” but simple (whatever that means).

I was made to head a department that I really don’t have enough core competency to reassure myself and my team that everything would be alright. I had to relieve my driver because he had an eye infection that he was not so honest about till I went to play golf and noticed that he drove half hazardly in the highway causing him to lose proper judgment on the breaking distance, I got a new secretary who used my notebook to check her myspace account, my cellphone to text a performer and to top it all off, my immediate boss resigned.

Well, as one would simply put it… I think I’m losing it. This could well be another crisis in the making…

The story of my life…