Intervention at a price

In the past years, I have grown disillusioned due to the fact that I have already given up on so many aspirations in relation to my dying career in this company. Lately, it has already consumed a better part of me.

Melancholy has taken the part of me that was in the first place supposedly my drive-provider when it comes to making career decisions. In my forties, I have learned well that not everything in life is for the taking and therefore seemingly “available” things are not really for free.

This state has however reduced me to a lump of potato sack with the lesser amount of willingness to go on. But allow me to clarify that earlier statement… when I say statements pertinent to being under-driven, it doesn’t at all mean that I become inutile to the point of uselessness. It usually means that my mental state turns apathetic in relation to my career objectives and my personal sake. I do however remain more productive than the average Joe.

Several weeks ago, I placed my proposals on top of the Chairman’s table for his perusal. Several weeks ago, he arrives from a foreign trip and told me that he was already thinking about the businesses I proposed. Today, I am still waiting and I won’t know how long the wait would last.

In the meantime, I busy myself with another proposal for a new business entirely out of my character. And that is to simply comply with proposing a business that is both “normal” and profitable… manageable? Well, we’ll have to see.

In the meantime as well, I fear that I have wasted my time, financial resources and effort in making those proposals knowing that getting a proposal through would not only be tough but improbable given that our polarities really rarely meets in the first place.

Unfortunately, making a proposal is not merely an academic exercise, not for me anyway. The risk of putting up your emotion at the front line of a possible disappointment is something that I am part of that high-risk demographic. The virtue that made me successful over these years is the same virtue that has ruined me in my earlier years, and basic life know-how says… life is a wheel and that I am destined to be put down once again.

For the life of me, I do not know what has to be done. Or more so, the extent of what I am willing to do. For those who think that they know things, they are probably more ignorant than I am…

Merry Christmas…