A tribute to my parents

Dear Nanay and Tatay,

I know that it's kind of weird that an agnostic like myself would write a letter to the departed but there are just some things that one cannot help... or for this matter, rationalize.

I miss you guys... and I mean that in the most sorrowful way.

I remember that tatay once said that he feels like a foreigner inside the house because nanay imposed an "English only" conversation inside the house. Back then, I remember how we'd put out mats on the living room floor because it was too hot to sleep in the rooms where the ceiling was lower. I remember the way you cooked fried chicken ala max's style and serve it with jufran catsup. I remember buying clothes at the Pasig Public Market with you and you'd pick the ones you liked. I remembered how you said you wanted me to stand out... always. --- and i always did... hahahaha.. but never in a good way.

I remember how tatay would always say that if he knew that I was gonna be a smart aleck, he shouldn't have sent me to school. That was of course jokingly. I remember my first bike that seemed to be a compilation of different known designs and styles (racer handles, easy rider seats and frame -- absolute chopsuey but i loved it because it was mine) because tatay got the parts separately from replaced bicycle parts from cartimar in pasay. I remember tatay saving up weekend tips as a cockpit arena broker so that he could buy me that original "ray-ban" shades I always wanted... (i eventually sat on it)

And I remember a lot more... and the more I remember... the more I miss you guys. I'm sorry if I never visit you guys. You know how it is with me. I'm not that kind of a man, and i don't really like memorial parks so instead, I keep you guys in my heart... and I visit everyday.. as in everyday.

Today I have to go your grand daughter's school and retrieve the cell phone that she smuggled in that was confiscated by her teacher. This is her 4th phone, she lost one already. Times are indeed funny. I remember I had to starve myself for three months for my first guitar.. I want to ask you guys for advise about parenting and this dead-end career that I have, but you're not here.

But I do know, that eventually, things will turn out well... I know. It always does. If the rest of the world is right and that you can still see me... I hope that my decisions in life are okay with you... or at least, most of them...

for you guys.

I miss you terribly and I love you.

Balang Araw