sick and tired?

sounds like an opening question for a vitamin supplement ad doesn't it?

i suppose that life isn't really meant to be as joyous as joy would go. i haven't blogged for the longest time perhaps because the feelings that linger in my heart right now is something that i wouldn't want to be as transparent as this blogspot was designed to be. but then again, if i wouldn't want to write about it then it defeats the purpose of this blogspot being my therapy.

over the last few weeks, i've done nothing much but feel myself spiraling downwards in a never ending pit of hopelessness over what to do with what i have and how to get what i want and how to do what needs to be done. -- damn, sounds like a perfect dilemma for a perfect screw up.

one of my managers came to my office the other day to discuss his vision about what the company is to be like... i was impressed... with such motivation, with such zest and gusto... i had it before but i've lost a lot of it because of the amount of chronic disappointments i've had over the past year.

i really just wanted to say, ... been there, done that, tried it, proposed it and it was turned down... but i wouldn't want to kill zest like that because i was impressed with the renewed attitude.

anyway, i'll need to shake off this rotten feeling to the core thing out of my system as soon as possible if i want to survive this career. problem is... do i even want to remain in this career? Time and again, i have already proven that kibun is too powerful an element to overcome in a korean company. and i guess that such is life... really!

for now, i guess that i'll have to seek other forms of therapy for my soul.