the chicken who killed the egg

I swear this job is going to kill me!

This month is a month of despedidas (farewell parties and drinking with griping sessions) for all those taking flight... It is saddening yet I feel envy for those who can afford to jump ship. I do not blame them, nor do I feel any negativity for their decisions. If I was not captain, then I'd have jumped ship a long time ago...

My blood glucose is off the charts. I've been sick for the longest time and I know that it's not because I'm sick as in sick but rather I am not happy and I do not know how to go on.

I want to renew... but how? When I am losing key personnel due to the constructive treatments we've all gotten the past months. Going on is an arduous task... most specially if those I have left is undecided as to what their plans would be. Then we are nothing but a bunch of halfhearted players in a place where the blind leads the blinded.

"If you pick the right people and give them the opportunity to spread their wings—and put compensation as a carrier behind it—you almost don't have to manage them."

~ Jack Welch

The only remedy I see for us to move on is for the offender to make amends, makes himself a true leader, step up to the plate and initiate a period of healing...

Is it feasible?

In all honesty, I've known the Chairman a long time and I still believe that he is a good man. I don't know what has transpired for him to change manner in this direction. However, I think that he still has it in him to make amends given the right set of circumstances.

"An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything."

~ Lynn Johnston

Today, I met with the Filipino managers and asked them to recommit themselves to rebuilding this company. Setting aside my personal hurt, setting aside theirs, maybe we still have it in us to initiate the first step towards healing. It will be hard, but we promise we'd try.

Perhaps what has transpired could simply be put in the perspective of an opportunity in waiting... or so I hope... or so we hope.

This year marks the 10th year of my marriage to this company... It will be the 10th year for a handful of people who held on... I do not want that our 10th year will be the year of regret.

And so therefore, I shall try...