For the past month and a half, I have been doing nothing to at least guarantee the longevity of my life... drinking my guts out each and every night trying to comprehend my incomprehensible life… Things cannot possibly turn worse… but then again why wouldn’t it?
Project after project… for the last seven years of my stay in this company, I have felt over and over like a moron who commits to the same mistakes over and over again. Hey, it’s not me… it’s them… and since I allowed it, it’s us…
So, what exactly should I make of this?
My options now are seemingly less complicated as they were a year ago. There are certain things that I have learned to accept in time… but it doesn’t mean that I have to comply since the ultimate option will still be mine.
Damn… I’m speaking in tongue again.
Clarity…
Last year’s Boracay disaster… the strong peso, weak dollar scenario which wreaked havoc over our finances, new Korean managers who did not seem to have gone through the process and the effect they had on rank and file plus the bickering between older managers and new ones to name a few. Last year we had to close a business because the managers cannot manage properly so it was wiser to shut them down than to allow them to continue making problems for us.
The latest of course is my present rant-driven activity, the Amazing Philippine Singing Star.
The Amazing Philippine Singing Star is a big disaster which we will have to fix because they messed up the pilot episode big time when we allowed the wrong people to make the decisions. And because of this, the pressure is on to ensure the sustainability of the show for at least the year to come.
I feel appalled by the fact that it was top management’s mistakes and I sense no feeling of remorse from them and that they still have a say and a chance of redemption… something that I think they don’t deserve.
I still believe that I am a good politician when dealing with a lot of people, especially those chosen by my Boss to be shoved up my ass to work with. But this particular activity has driven me farther up my temper alley… with an interpreter and a staff who doesn’t know shit about what she’s saying and a tone that is less deserving of any respectable reply, a dick who thinks that he is sooo good having worked in a good company in the past and who showed so little respect perhaps because of his interpretation of Kibun, and lastly that Korean “Over-all Grand Director” who knew jack shit about directing or anything else for that matter.
Ultimately, I always get my way… but it gets too tiring after a while with the efforts that I would have to put into it. There isn’t anyone I’ve met that I wasn’t able to befriend and turn into a personal ally… but the stress level attached to it is too tasking for an old man like me. Besides, by the time a Korean manager becomes my friend, he/she may be on the way out of the company. I’ve seen them come, I’ve seen them go.
Fact is I have always said that every mistake means money and resources. So every time they make mistakes, it would cost us money. Worst part is, some of their mistakes have cost us good people, our number one asset… and for this, all of us will have to suffer the consequences…
We began this year with a big bang for the branch managers when they were asked to submit proposals for cost-cutting measures… it was submitted and I had to review them. Damn, I wouldn’t want to be in the shoes of the branch managers, they’d end up as bad guys once again in the eyes of their employees… but then again, we do really have to cut cost. But then again… why did we lose that much in the first place? … Like I said… a series of unfortunate events… or more likely… a series of unfortunate decisions.
Last year, two of my staff made a mistake… I paid for it! That’s called management responsibility. I’d like to see more of that in this company. And for all the right decisions and the responsibility and skills that I have exhibited, I am part of those who will pay the price of poor management.
Inside my office, I have six lamp shades… two halogen bulb mood lights, my six favorite guitars, a keyboard, a beat box, books, a nice sofa, a long sofa from my old office where the caretaker of this building died in his sleep twelve years ago… my recent pc-based set-up is capable of both video editing and music recording and other post production facility for work…. I like my office… I like the way it allows me to work in an environment that is conducive for artistic outputs… because that it the soul of this business. Yes it is more expensive to maintain my office because it is big… the bulbs are more expensive than the regular office light they use but like I said… it provides the mood.
And the most I like about my office is that it represents our company… it represents how big we want to become… much like “power dressing”, my office shouts power… dream… vision.. It represents Amazing.
Next month, I shall say goodbye to this office… and I shall say goodbye to all the work that has always been passed on to me by those whose salaries and benefits are bigger than mine. Let them earn their keep as I have earned mine…
